A sweet sixteen is a party with a little ceremony in it. Dressing for one is mostly about knowing which of those two the night is going to be.
A sweet sixteen is a strange and lovely kind of party. It is somebody's birthday, so it should feel easy. It is also, quite often, the first properly grown-up event a whole group of people have been invited to, which makes it feel like something more.
That is why the dressing question comes up at all. Nobody wonders what to wear to a birthday. They wonder what to wear to this one.
Work Out Which Kind of Party It Is
Everything follows from this, and it is usually answerable in one message to whoever invited you.
A venue with a name, a stated start time in the evening, and a mention of dinner means a formal night. Think midi or long, proper shoes, and hair that somebody has thought about.
A house, a garden, a bowling alley or a restaurant table means a party. Think a pretty short dress or a skirt and top, and a shoe you can move in.
A theme or a color on the invitation is a real instruction, not a suggestion. It will be in every photograph, and being the only person who ignored it is not a good feeling.
If there is genuinely no information, a short or midi dress in a color, with a low heel, is right almost everywhere and has never looked wrong at a sixteenth.
If It Is Your Night
You get to be the most dressed person in the room. That is the whole point and you should take it.
Pick the Feeling First
Before the shape, before the color, decide how you want the night to feel. Soft and romantic, or sparkling and loud, or simple and grown-up. Every other decision gets much easier once that one is made, and the dress you choose will actually match the photographs in your head.
Then the Shape
A full skirt gives you a proper entrance and photographs beautifully, and it takes up room, so think about the venue. A slip or a column feels older and quieter. A short dress with volume is the most fun to dance in and the easiest to last the whole night in.
Think About the Middle of the Night
You will be in this for five or six hours, and some of that will be dancing. Sit down in it. Lift your arms. Walk properly, not the careful walk everyone does in a fitting room. If the answer to any of those is uncomfortable, it will be a long evening.
Two Shoes
The heel for the first hour and the photographs, and a flat in a bag for the rest. Nobody has ever regretted this.
It is a birthday. The photographs you will keep are the ones where nobody was thinking about their dress.
If You Are a Guest
There is one rule, and it is a kind one. Do not out-dress the birthday girl.
That does not mean dressing down or being invisible. It means leaving her the loudest thing in the room. If she is in a full-length gown, wear a midi. If she has said she is wearing white or silver or red, wear something else. If there is a theme, follow it exactly.
Beyond that, dress properly. Turning up under-dressed to somebody's sixteenth reads as not caring, and it shows in the group photograph just as clearly as over-dressing does.
The Safe Guest Outfit
A short or midi dress in a color or a print, a low heel or a pretty flat, one piece of jewelry, a small bag. It works at a house party and at a hotel, and it will never be the wrong answer.
Two Things to Avoid
White, if the birthday girl has mentioned wearing it. And anything you have to keep adjusting, because you will be in photographs all night and you will be pulling at it in every one of them.
The Details That Finish It
One pair of earrings and one other thing, at most. At sixteen the instinct is to add, and the outfits that look loveliest in photographs a few years later are almost always the simpler ones.
Take a small bag with a strap over the shoulder, not a clutch. You want your hands free for a phone, a plate and the hugging.
Bring a wrap or a fine cardigan in a plain color. Every party ends up partly outside at some point in the evening, and being cold is the fastest way to want to go home early.
Check the whole outfit on together the night before. Dress, shoes, bag, jewelry, all at once, in a mirror. It takes five minutes and it is how you find out that the strap shows before it matters.
The Small Things That Finish It
Hair and nails matter more at a sixteenth than at almost any other party, because everyone is photographing everyone, close up, all night. Neither needs to be elaborate. Something simple that will still look the same at eleven o'clock is worth more than something intricate that will not.
If you are wearing your hair up, try it with the dress on rather than separately. A neckline and a hairstyle are one decision, and they look wrong together far more often than either looks wrong on its own.
Perfume goes on before the dress, not after. It marks satin and it dulls sequins.
A Note on the Gift
If you are a guest, the gift is part of the evening and it is worth not leaving to the morning of. Something small and personal will be remembered longer than something expensive, and a card that has actually been written in beats one that has been signed.
Ask whoever invited you whether there is a table for gifts, so you are not carrying it all night.
Pretty Picks for the Night
Common Questions
What to Wear to a Birthday Party?
Take the lead from the venue and the time. An evening start at a named venue asks for a dress and a proper shoe. An afternoon at somebody's house asks for something pretty and easy that you can sit on a floor in. When there is no information at all, a short or midi dress in a color with a low heel is right nearly everywhere, and one good accessory finishes it.
What to Wear to a Sweet 16?
It depends on the kind of party, so ask first. A named venue with dinner and an evening start means a formal night, so a midi or long dress with a proper shoe. A house, a garden or a restaurant table means a party, so a pretty short dress or a skirt and top with a shoe you can dance in. If the invitation names a theme or a color, follow it exactly, because it will be in every photograph.
The Short Version
Find out what kind of night it is, then dress for that. If it is yours, decide how you want to feel before you decide what to wear, and pack a flat shoe. If you are a guest, dress properly and leave her the spotlight. Keep the details few, take a bag you can wear over your shoulder, and enjoy the party.