A rehearsal dinner is the softest evening of the whole wedding weekend. Here is how to dress for it, whichever part of the room you are standing in.
The rehearsal dinner is the loveliest event of a wedding weekend and the one nobody explains. It is smaller than the wedding, warmer than the wedding, and the only evening where everyone in the room already knows each other.
It is also the evening where the dress code is almost never written down, which is why so many people arrive either slightly overdressed or noticeably under.
The short answer is that a rehearsal dinner sits one clear step below the wedding. If the wedding is black tie, the dinner is cocktail. If the wedding is cocktail, the dinner is smart and pretty without being formal. Hold that ratio and you will never be wrong.
Read the Venue, Not the Invitation
Rehearsal dinners are usually held at a restaurant, a private room, a family home or a garden, and the venue tells you everything the card does not.
A restaurant with white tablecloths means a proper occasion dress. A midi in satin, lace or a fine crepe, a low heel, one good earring.
A private room at a relaxed place, or a long table at a family home, means something pretty and easy. A floral midi, a wrap dress, a soft print. Somewhere between what you would wear to a nice dinner and what you would wear to a summer wedding.
A garden or a terrace means a lighter fabric and a flat or a block heel, because you will be standing on grass or stone for the first hour while everybody arrives.
A pub, a beach or a barbecue means genuinely relaxed. A cotton or linen-feel midi, a sandal, and nothing you would be sad to spill on.
What to Wear If You Are a Guest
You are there to be part of a warm evening rather than to be looked at, which is a freeing thing to know.
A midi dress in a pretty fabric does almost every version of this evening. Florals are ideal, because they read as considered without reading as formal. A wrap shape is the easiest thing to eat a long dinner in, and the wrap dress has earned that reputation honestly.
Keep the color softer or deeper than what you plan to wear to the wedding itself, so the two evenings look different in photographs. It sounds like a small thing. It is the difference between two memories and one.
Skip white, exactly as you would at the wedding. It is the same weekend and the same rule.
What to Wear If You Are Family or in the Wedding Party
You will be in far more photographs than you expect, and you will be introduced to a great many people you have never met.
That argues for something a little more finished than you would choose as a guest. A midi in satin or lace, or a dress with a detail worth noticing, such as a gathered sleeve or a covered button. Comfortable shoes, because you will be standing and greeting rather than sitting.
Ask the couple whether there is a color they would rather you left alone. There usually is, and they will be glad you asked rather than guessed.
What to Wear If the Evening Is Yours
If you are the bride, this is the one night of the weekend where white is yours to wear and nobody will blink. A white or ivory midi, a soft lace, something with a ribbon or a gathered shoulder. Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is where the white outfit that is not the dress gets its outing.
You do not have to. Plenty of brides wear color on the Friday and save white entirely for the Saturday, and that reads beautifully too. The only rule is that you should be able to hug two hundred people in it.
A rehearsal dinner sits one clear step below the wedding. Hold that ratio and you will never be wrong.
Fabric Does the Work
The difference between a dinner dress and a daytime dress is almost never the shape. It is the surface.
Satin, lace, a crepe with a slight sheen, velvet in winter, a fine chiffon in summer. Any of those read as evening in a shape that would read as daytime in cotton. It is the quickest way to lift a simple dress into the right register without changing anything else.
If your dress is a flat cotton or a jersey, the fabric is telling people it is a Tuesday. Lovely for a garden barbecue and slightly too easy for a restaurant.
Three Evenings, Assembled
For the restaurant dinner: a satin or lace midi in a deep color, a low block heel, a small bag, one pair of earrings, hair away from your face. Nothing else required.
For the family house or the long table: a floral midi with a gathered waist, a flat sandal or a low wedge, a fine cardigan over your shoulders for later. Pretty, easy, and you can help carry plates in it.
For the terrace or the garden: a lighter print, a wide strap rather than a thin one so nothing needs adjusting, a wrap for when the sun goes, and a shoe with a wide enough base to stand on grass.
The Things People Forget
The room will be warmer than you expect, because it is smaller than a wedding venue and full of people who are pleased to see each other. Choose the lighter of the two fabrics you are deciding between.
You will be photographed sitting down far more than standing up, which is unusual for a wedding weekend. A dress with a defined waist and a skirt that falls softly over a chair will serve you better than anything that needs to be arranged.
There will very likely be speeches, and they will be the informal, funny ones rather than the formal ones. Wear something you can laugh in.
And bring a wrap, even in summer. Rehearsal dinners run late and finish outdoors more often than not. If you would rather not carry one, the wedding guest guide makes the same case for sleeves, which solve it permanently.
Midi Dresses for the Night Before
Common Questions
Who Attends the Rehearsal Dinner?
Traditionally the wedding party, the immediate families of both partners, the officiant, and anyone with a reading or a role in the ceremony. Many couples now widen it to include guests who have traveled a long way, which makes the evening larger and a little more relaxed. If you have been invited and are not sure which kind of evening it is, the guest list size is the clue: a table of twelve is a family dinner, and a room of sixty is closer to a party.
What to Wear to a Wedding Rehearsal Dinner?
Dress one clear step below the wedding itself. If the wedding is black tie, a cocktail midi is right for the dinner. If the wedding is cocktail, something pretty and smart without being formal will suit. The venue decides the rest: a restaurant asks for satin or lace, a family home or garden asks for a floral midi and a flatter shoe. Avoid white unless the evening is yours, and choose a color that differs from what you will wear to the wedding so the two nights look distinct.
The Short Version
One step below the wedding, read from the venue rather than the card. A midi in an evening fabric for a restaurant, a floral midi for a garden or a family table, and a wrap for the end of the night whichever it is. Skip white unless it is your evening, and wear something you can sit down and laugh in. The midi-dresses edit is a good place to start looking.